drawde's life

life's been so crazy atm, everything jus flashes by so swiftly and i hardly have anytime 2 pause n reflect on wat i'm going through....the very last time i wrote, i was so desperate trying 2 get back 2 penang and the thought of missing newcastle have nvr crossed my mind...but now, i'm sitting in dubai airport, at the very exact spot which i was sitting at  almost a year ago when i embarked on my journey 2 the uk, missing newcastle....a life i once dreaded so much have now become the 2nd home that regret not cherishing...10 months studying abroad have really changed me and i knw that my thinking have certainly changed (i hope for the better)...i've learned wat it meant to REALLY b independent, to REALLY survive myself and to get through so many difficult and almost impossible moment...i really thank God for being there for me when i needed Him, the time when no 1 was there 2 understand and the time when no 1 was there 2 encourage..he was the only 1 there 2 hear my whispers, my deepest thoughts and care for my deepest feeling...i've learned wat it meant 2 have God as the ONLY 1 to rely on and the only hope to cling on...ppl c wats in the outset of my life, but only God knws who i am..and i really thank Him for alwiz being there for me...as for my studies here, i'm glad that i've hit the target that i've set...although there were so many times during my time here when it seem so impossible and i've even tried so hard 2 convince myself 2 settle for a lesser grade, i'm really glad i've made it through...i'm glad 2 have brought back the little scroll that i've hunted for 3 dam long years!!well, i cant reall say that i'm done wif studies coz m gona have another 1.5 years 2 go 2 actually finish my study life....nevertheless, i really thank God for sustaining me even when hope seemed so bleak...i;ve also had many experiences here that i'll nvr ever 4get, some, i think will serve as a lesson for my future...on the bright side of the story, i;ve learned wat it means to have friends 2 b the only people i can share my life with...i've made some really very wonderful friends here, ppl who despite coming from a totally different world but yet share the same heart and same mind...friends who brought so much happiness 2 my life here and friends who brought so many unique and great experiences 2 my life here...i will nvr 4get them and they will alwiz have a place in my heart...on the other hand, there r also ppl who brought a totally different experience 2 me and have really taught me a really important lesson here...the fakeness and the deceitfulness of the human heart..through them,i've learned not to open my heart 2 ppl so eazily but 2 guard myself against these oscar actors and stabbers...though they r unpleasant experiences of my time here but i'm glad i've learned it sooner rather than at a later phase of my life...well, apart from the minority few ppl like that, i'm very grateful that i've got the chance to meet the many friends i've met here, will nvr 4get u guys....the very big issue i'll face rite now is 2 adapt myself 2 the life that i left behind 10months ago...i nvr thought i would nid 2 do that as my heart have alwiz been wif penang...but when i was packing up this morning, preparing 2 leave quay point, a sense of 'miss' jus overwhelmed me...i suddenly feel a lil reluctant 2 go back, but i knw this is jus an impulsive emotional change that clouds me..when i was having a final glance into my empty room, the good memories jus flashed in my mind and stired my emotion, i began 2 remember hw i 1st arrived, hw i 1st started and hw i've gone through everything...and nw, i'm done with chapter 1 of my life and waiting for chapter 2 to begin....as i ponder through, i cant help but thank God again for how His hands had been upon me,blessing me all this while....i've found favor in ppl's eyes bcoz i knw i've found favor in his eyes...i've found blessing in wat i do becoz he had blessed me so abundantly...and now,i 'll jus wait...wait for the time that i would come back and face a new challenge here...i knw this time round, God is gona bless me even more... :)
there's actually so much more running in my head atm,but i think that is perhaps for another time..

note: i've also found it appropriate 2 have this post as my final post in livejournal.com as i would be changing 2 a new e-journal address..sort of like drawing a conclusion 2 the 1st chapter of my jorunal :p 





 
my dad who made all these possible for me...thank you

 

tired...m now really dead tired...my feet could hardly move and every movement draws excruciating pain to all my leg muscles..been working my ass off this few weeks, at the same time trying 2 enjoy my remaining time wif ma frens and trying 2 maximise my time here...as a result, i knw i've overworked my body, wif football and work especially...m now jus waiting for my laundry 2 b done b4 i knock out to bed...well, cant wait for church again tmr as it would probably b my final sunday in nclc until sept when i return...gona so mis it...on the other hand, i'm very excited that the wait is almost over for my parents and gf 2 come and spend their holiday here in 2 days time BUT at the same time, so will my result be disclosed...screw it!!

gosh!life's been so bz lately..its oredi 19th June and its less than 2 weeks to the release of my result and the arrival of my parents & ning...but, i havent get 2 settle everything that i intend 2 do this holiday period...actually, the buziness is not due 2 overflowing of activities but becoz i've learned 2 sleep for 12hours each day and thus, my day has gotten so much shorter....been bz wif church activities lately, attending cg,practice,conference and catching up wf frens...its funny how fast time passes, w/o me realising it, but all i can say is that, everything is really gud...i'm stil halfway through my house hunting process....went for interview 2 b student assist for nxt sem & from the way they describe my job description, it seems pretty fun and enjoyaeable and m looking forward 2 another year in quay point...but then, my application is still pending and will only b notified on monday..as for my intended fund raising this summer, it had not gone well at all..instead of saving up,i ended up spending loads of money...will only start work tmr and hopefully can earn some quick cash for myself...went 2 chemlsford, cambridge and london last week and it was loads of fun as i got 2 c a really different sight of uk...escaping from the city and experiencing little chelmsford...cambridge was gud and the study culture there is jus fantastic..i got really mesmerized by how beautiful the uni was and the town is jus filled wif students and study atmosphere.... 
*northumbria bo tan pi at all*

 

uni by the river...

well, all in all, post-exam life has been pretty much enjoyeable i would say...not having 2 worry bout books and stuff but then, the day is drawing near when i have 2 face my result...jus hope everything will b fine...as for now, m gona go for practice later..chow for now..

i've just found out an interesting fact...the below calculation proves that the gov's plan 2 raise the petrol price is not only a breach of promise in the manifesto but the alleged subsidy that we are 'still enjoying' is actually non-existence and they are using the world market price to cheat every ignorent citizens...i havent check out to what extent the factors used in the calculation are correct but this info comes from a fairly reliable source (malaysia-today.net) i would say, therefore, prima facie and unless otherwise proven or clarified by the gov(which i doubt they will), we r actually forced 2 swallow a terrible lie from the gov...

World Market: $130 / barrel of crude oil
1 barrel: 159 litres of crude oil

BUT not all crude oil turns out to be PETROL, only 46%-47% will, and the rest (53%-54%) will turn out to be bitumen, kerosene, natural gas and others...hence, only 73.14 litre out of the 159 litre of crude oil is petrol

therefore, the REAL world market for PETROL: $130 x 46%=$59.80

vs

Malaysia Market: RM2.70/ litre of PETROL
Price Malaysian pays for 1 barrel: RM2.70 x 73.14 litres=RM197.478
RM197.478 / 3.3= $59.80

Where is the subsidy for PETROL???basic logic and calculation shows that there is actually no more subsidy for petrol in Msia!!!

yet again, this is subject to how true the factors are, such as the 46% extimate....so, consider and weigh its credibility urself...

note: source taken from www.malaysia-today.net

ahh...life during holiday is jus great eventhough there's nothing much 2 do here...so far, have jus been wandering around towna 2 catch up with the summer breeze and doing wat i like most, that is playing football and jamming on my instru...as a result, m having a terribly 'sour' leg rite now as i've been playing 3 hours of footbal almost everyday...but, it sure feels good 2 have time 2 b myself again and 2 think of other things instead of law law law law and lawww....so dam sienzzz and lifeless!!!m suppose 2 get my ass out to hunt for my accomodation for this coming semester but rite now, i jus feel like spending the whole day doing wat i;ve wanted to do for a long lonnnnng time that is to jus slack on my sofa and jus let time sail pass me w/o thinking of anything...hehe,i knw its kinda lame 2 spend holiday this way, but i think so far thats wat i really enjoy the most...especially now that i have the time and space to think of NOTHING! well, i jus hope that i could b back in penang soon, 2 catchup wif the life i left behind...but as for now, m jus gona sit back, relax and slack my saturday off.... :)

ITS OVER!!EXAM ORDEAL/CURSE is finally OVEEERR!!!

as soon as my paper was collected, it felt like i've jus started 2 live again!!gone were the LLB life and now i'm so freaking freee!!i'm gona so enjoy and relax 2 the max for this remaining month here and omgosh there r so so sooo many things i wana do yet there's so little time left.....dam!i jus realised i'll have 2 start planning for nxt semester now, got to go house hunting asap and got to sort out all my visas and get my flights prepared...sigh...y must there alwiz b so much plannings and worrying..........but then, m not gona giv a dam bout it at least for this 2 days...jus wana get a gud sleep and slack to the max!

HAPPY SUMMERZZzzz

Sungha Jung...U'VE GOT TO B F"KING KIDDING ME!!!

 

u make me weep in front of my guitar!!

 

 

i did it!!i finished 2 seasons of Kyle XY (starring Matt Dallas) show in 1 week...and that is even within exam period!the show is so so sooooo dam nice and i jus cant seem 2 concentrate on my studies w/o finishing the whole dam series...i got hooked onto it when i was hanging out in the kitchen 1 night after a terrible time studying and was jus trying 2 giv myself a few minutes break...i play around with the channels and came across this show KYLE XY and somehow it caught my eye and i started watching it....incidentally, it was the 1st episode so eveything jus started and i got totally, i mean TOTALLY glued 2 it...the show is by ABC family and its a family base show that protrays how loving a healthy functioning family can be and how the love can overflow 2 a super genius 'orphan' boy(u'll knw when u watch it)...after the 1st episode, i did wat every msian would do...i downloaded the whole season jus 2 realise there's 2 seasons and of coz, i bungkus all and watched it in a week's time, jus 33 episodes...the show is really really touching and i cant wait for season 3 to b release in 2009...i really, salute the person responsible for producing the show for coming out wif such outstanding ideas 2 fit all the incredible stuff together...its definitely 1 of the very very few great and MEANINGFUL show that i've watched in a long while now and this is surely a 2 thumbs up rating from me...so, jus wana share this beautiful show with u guys and hope u can b touched by the simple, innocent love that is amplified in this show...btw, the show uses canon in D as the theme song for the romance between Kyle(main character) and Amanda(his lover of coz) and i knw there are many canon freak out there, including myself after watching the show(i'm not the clasical music type but i jus found out how beautiful it can b)....woulnt wana spoil the show for u guys, so... catch the show, watch it and wait anxiously for season 3...

 

employment law pinned down!!!whoo hooo!!!its been a crazy crazy week for me...had a terible exam of having 2 freaking exam in the space of 4 days and its really bo gao kun....was having sleepless night throughout the week i think due to stress and dam it was so freaking pressuring and i feel literally like my head is gona go mad any moment trying 2 memorize all the freak cases and sections...arghhh, m glad its 2/3 off and 1/3 left 2 go...

anyway, came back from exam 2day and my head felt gradually so much lighter while i was walking back from the exam hall...still in zombie mode until i reached home i saw that my table dam clean and so empty...i felt a lil uneazy coz for the pas 2 months it has been filled wif books and papers flying everywhere and 2 c it so clean, i jus realise at theat moment i'm almost done wif exam ordeal....THX GOD THX THX GOD!!!!anyway, exam for emplyment was alrite i guess...i mean at least i knw i wont fail (unles i'm proven 2 b so dam mistaken)...it was doable but definitely not scoreable...my head was in autopilot and i jus spil everything in my mind 2 make up the 2.5 pages quorum for each Q...didnt really do much beside that....i did Qs on redundancy,unfair dismissal,employee status and deduction of wages...and all my answers are equaly constand and dull coz it was more of regurgitating wat i read rather than answering the Qs...but who cares bout them now!!m having 1 last paper 2 go...my last tango it seems for my law degree and hopefully no resit..choi choi choi!!!

had  my first exam in UK jus 2 hours ago and i'm so so sooooooo mad at myself...WHY ON EARTH DID I DO ABORTION??!!!!!!omg i stil cant imagine wat was in my mind when i chose to do that freaking hard question instead of euthanasia...screwed!i'm absolutely screwed...lack of time and my super poor structuring for abortion is gona so kill me in the exam...i estimate a mere pass 40% for the Q...it was f'king hard yet i convinced myself to do it even though i knew euthanasia Q was so much eazier...Y?Y?Y?Y?Y?Y?Y?omgosh i feel like destroying something now to ease my frustration!!!

the other 2 Q was relatively speaking eazier than that f'king abortion...i did Q on organ donations and surrogacy and i praaaaaaay that those 2 will pull my marks up somehow..i knw i need a miracle to get a 2:1 now for medical law despite all the hard work i did for my coursework, it would all b useless now THX TO STUPID ABORTION!!!....sighh.....kek sim kek sim....

have 2 focus on employment law now eventhough i dono hw...langsung no mood!!

 War with medical law in 12 hours time...breathe harder.. hoo ha hoo ha hoo ha hoo ha!!!

one & a half day til exam!!breathe...hoooo haaaa hoooo haaaa!!!

side note: dam chelsea sacked avan grant!!he was the sole reason i so wanted chelsea to win the champions league...this guy deserve acknowledgement for the job he did in chelsea but they jus have 2 judge him on the way he carries himself..

she's done it...recorded her mtv in hollywood....erm, though the mtv sucks abit...2 many ppl walking around and distracted the focus off her....but anything with her in it would seem good :) she's come from such a long long way to come 2 where she is now.....from watching an unknown marie in youtube jus a few months back, i now c a much celebrated celebrity in the US...who needs american idol anyway?!!she's simply angelic!

its been a very long time since i last indulge in a song...this is the current 1...dam cool tune, jus couldnt get the piano groove out of my head atm....the singer is Brooke Fraser,22 years old but she was only 19 when her debut song 'arithmethic' hit number 1 in the new zealand top chart for dono how many weeks.....anyway, she's 1 cool and talented singer cum song writer...now she's singing for Jesus in Hillsong but this song here entitled 'arithmethic' was sung b4 she was a Christian...so enjoyzzz her cool voice...

this week has been crazy...my schedule is totally upside down and messed up...no fix hours of sleep, no fix time to study, no fix time for meals and no fix time of revision.....i jus sleep when i really couldnt open my eyes anymore, jus eat whenver i'm hungry and jus study whenver i'm awake...i knw i'm destroying myself this way but i jus wana get through this 2 weeks knowing i did wat i could to salvage some marks for my finals...thank God, i can finally c the horizon where my revision is gona end and i jus couldnt wait for my exam to finish so that i could commence operation ENJOY 2 THE MAX!!there're so many things i wana do, so many places i stil wana go and so many friends i wana cathch  up wif....GOSH!!iwonder how long do i stil have 2 wait for that?!!!but rite now there r still so many topics i could not fathom and explain but i dont really care anymore...i jus wana memorize everything n throw into the exam paper and hope for the best...yet again, i'm TERRIFIED by the thoughts of having to stay here for yet another year, tougher.....anyhow, jus want thank God for the guitar i bought few months ago, i cant imagine how 2 survive w/o it....speaking bout guitar, marie digby was in KL and the concert was so awesome but i have 2 watch in youtube nia :( ..but i get to watch her live performance on deeprockdrive which was so so cool...she is really a star of a different class, jus hope she doesnt get sucked into the current shit music industry we now have and totally lose all the qualities....dont want to c another britney...

 DAM!!i made a terrible mistake 2day!!!i got up and started to count the remaining days i have till my exam and found out i only have 11 days left!!!shocked me!!!15 topics more to go to finish revision!!!how on earth i'm gona cover?!!!

PANIC!!

m now officially 23, trust me, i really feel oooooold now...this year would b the 1st time i go through b;day w/o my family around me and i really really miss them so so much rite now...as if its not bad enough, i have 2 fall so sick on this day and as a result i cant do anything except to study in my room for the dam exam...i came across Psalms 139:13 and i was singing this song that i've learned since i was a child...i realised nvr had this verse meant so much 2 me b4 and i decided 2 record it down...it sings :' U (as in God) knit me together in my mother's womb, i praise You because i am fearfully and wonderfully made". such short verse from the bible had made me realise that it is on this day 23 years ago that God had finished forming me and sent me to this earth to know Him n b loved by Him...i'm really really grateful :)
then i thought of another person that really went thorugh alot on this day 23 years ago and thats my mum...she is the real hero that bore me and went through all the pain and suffering in obedience to God to deliver me here...i feel this should b a day 2 remember her instead of me as i did nothing beside screaming out from her womb and cost her so much pain in the process...i've never c my b'day this way b4...but nw that i've realised, i jus wana tell u mum:

THANK YOU MUM & GOOD JOB ON THE PROJECT U DID WIF DAD 23 YEARS AGO!!

 

p/s thanks my friends for all ur wishes :)  heart feltz

 m in the midst of exam period rite now and u wont believe how much more i need to cover in less than 3 weeks...the worse part is, i could feel my body giving up on me at this critical period as a result of unhealthy eating for the past week...have been eating all fast food since leaving my job and coupled with the lack of sleep and stress, i can really feel my body giving up on me and it seems that any time now i would fall really really sick...the worse part is there's nothing i could do but to hope my engine will last for another month...went to the library in the afternoon and the weather is so beautiful and it has been a long long time since i so enjoyed the outdoor...there were activities everytwhere in the vicinity of the uni and every1 were jus having a gud gud time under the beautiful spring weather....ppl here are jus so relax and chill in their lifestyle and sometimes i jus wonder if us chinese would ever hav the same mentality 2 jus pause and enjoy life instead of slog like a cow our entire life....perhaps we should really take a pause in life and jus enjoy something so simple as the sun light...we use to laugh at the malays for their 'laziness' like a pig coz they alwiz take time 2 picnic and do nothing, but hey, they might b laughing at us as cows that doesnt knw how 2 stop working...anyway, m jus finding a way to excuse myself from studying :p but i knw i cant coz even sleep is a luxury i cant afford to indulge myself in for this few weeks...1 more thing, i feel i've neglected my love ones during this bz exam period as our conversation does not last as long as it used to..dad, mum, ning, i'm really sorry and i really m...i knw u all wana knw more of my condition and feelings becoz u all love and are concerned of me, but i'm jus not the type that share my troubles and stress to others as i would rather choose to find a cave somewhere in the midst of the storm and wrestle the prob alone...i'm more efficient that way and when the storm is over, i'll get out of the cave to meet u all under the sunshine.....3rd June....thats THE DAY!

a series of events occured lately that lead me to this point of pondering...its unclear and foggy of what the truth is but i beleive to those who seek, he shall find...i'll wait n c...

liao lien  liao this time...i tot of studying jnw now but a moment of laziness brought me to my kitchen n i ended up playing xbox wif my hsemates for 3 hours...i looked at my watch and was shocked to realise its already 9.30pm!!i tot it was only 7pm as the sun was still shining so brightly 15minutes ago...end up, wasted whole night on the stupid box....darn sun tricked my kam zheng!!!ok i knw its my fault that i slacked...but i had to blame some1 or something isnt it...if not cant sleep 2nite becoz of guilt...

(ok, ok dad, i knw i have to study...jus dont push me too much lerrr...head wana explode d)